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Don’t Just Do It — Say It

Posted at October 23, 2015 | By : | Categories : Our Lives,Relationships | 0 Comment
My kids helped me celebrate my birthday at our favorite homemade ice cream store -- because they love me.

My kids helped me celebrate my birthday at our favorite homemade ice cream store — because they love me.

We live in a hurry-up, hustle-bustle world, with our personal lives often crammed between business obligations and getting through the personal necessities of each day. When there are people we love – or with whom we want to build relationships – we may not have time for subtleties!

Years ago, when I first started dating my husband, I discovered that he loved my recipe for spaghetti sauce. After we were married, I decided to make it for him when he was going through a particularly stressful time at work with lots of late meetings and travel. He was very happy to savor his favorite dish – no matter what time he arrived home.

His life was so hectic that I realized he might not have understood the intentionality of my gift. I did not just make it because it was my responsibility to cook. (By the way, he did the dishes!) I made it specifically for him. As a gift.

So, I told him, “I made this because I love you.”

We had a moment of connection.

Later, there came moments when we had to tell our children “no.”  Yes, we generally explained why whatever-it-was would not be good for them. That does not mean they understood our reasoning. What they could accept was the addition: “We said no because we love you.  We want to protect you. We are not trying to be mean.”

Eventually, we would simply say, “Why are we doing this?”

“I know. You love me,” would be the reply.

Adults now, they still remember those oft-spoken words.

We express our love in many ways, and that is good.

But, sometimes we need to clearly state what our actions mean: “I am doing this because I love you.”

 

Until we meet again,

The Entrepreneur’s Friend

 

 

 

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